did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize