She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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