I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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