it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
