my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
