So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize