just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
