i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
