youre lurking in front of me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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