actually, I'm a sock model
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
