Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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