You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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