Acid is not a monday night drug
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize