Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
