a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize