What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
