I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sobbing to NWA
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize