Hey man sorry I got all grabby
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
