I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
