I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
