Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize