sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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