can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
