woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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