My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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