I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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