i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
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