You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't deserve a penis
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
