Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize