Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
