If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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