These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's rum buckets o'clock
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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