hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize