Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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