I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
