Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
