Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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