While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Randomize
