wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Oh god it's open bar.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
