I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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