You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
