You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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