Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
