why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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