is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
