Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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