i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize