Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
