She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
