I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
