please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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