my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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