My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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