we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
