And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
