Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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