Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
