He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
