think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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