I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Enjoy the penises
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
