When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
