i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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