How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
