I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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